In shed my tears in silence
I shed them in pain
I shed them for the pride I lost
I shed them in vain
No angels came to wipe my tears
And the tears kept coming back
No angels came to talk to me
But the tears never turned their back
The world left me behind
Ran farther in the race
Even people who showed up after me
Showed only once their face
I died a thousand deaths that day
And grew a million years old
Yet not a trickle of sense came to me
Nor did I become bold
I walked in the dust, the dawn, the dusk
I thought I was followed by friends
Yet walked not they fore or aft
Not with or past or near the farthest ends
I called myself the Lucky One
For I had many a friend
Yet when I tried to choose a special one
Not one was left with me at end
Neither time nor tide stood by me
Yet I cared not at all
But surprised I was when not even my near ones
Stood when I took my fall
I thought I was special
I thought I was gifted
But when I saw that everyone was normal
I knew I was no more than a misfit
I proudly flowed along the tide
Thinking I had found the right way
But had I flowed against the rush
I would be someone else today
I envy my that other self
Loathe him yes I do
For he would have had his way always
And I can only want to
But afraid I am
For when I went
Against the beaten path
They told me I had broken those rules I knew I had only bent
I thought myself to be a fool
To not listen to others
Yet so much did I listen to them
That no one no more bothers
I don’t know if I’m a loser
Or just a lazy bum
But I do know I did what they said
Yet I’m still not their chum
I’m lost
For I followed them
When I was to make my own
And now I stand w/o a friend, it’s now either me or them